Found my new year's resolution

Classes ended about two weeks ago- which means this is the last week of break.  And it's going out with a bang.  I got to spend tonight with some very dear friends and it was so needed.

This break has taught me a lot. Like I won't be going back to see my parents anymore.  I want to say that I will always be grateful for what my parents have done, but I will finally be free from them holding these things over my head.

  I was talking to a co-worker about my decision and she told me that sometimes you have to leave a place behind you for your own safety or heath.  And I've been thinking about that all day.  When I think of Horseheads, all I can think about is the bad because it far outweighs everything else.  The situations that I found myself in as a teenager- both willingly and unwillingly, sent me into a spiral of depression.  One that I didn't feel I could get out of- I felt trapped. A lot of that trapped feeling was because I knew I couldn't go to my parents about it and I didn't know my Savior.

I was talking tonight with someone who has had a huge positive impact in my life and who has been through a similar situation, and she made some very good points.  Like that I need to start setting boundaries with my family.  No more childish phone calls where my mom makes my sister ask me what she (my mom) wants to know.  No more treating me like I'm not an adult and no more screening my calls to make sure that it's only my little sister calling me because I don't want to go through the stress of talking to my parents.  

The only issue is that I have to talk to my parents to tell them this.

And that scares me.

So I decided tonight that since I didn't have a new year's resolution, this would be it.  I only ask that those of you who know me, hold me accountable for setting these boundaries with my parents.  And I ask for your prayers as I do so.

Maybe someday God will give me the ability to trust and love them like most daughters love and trust their parents.  And maybe someday, they'll see me as the person that I am, not the person that I was.