60 Seconds

What if you only had sixty seconds to leave your house.  The fire alarm is going off and you know that it's either leave quickly or run the risk of not making it out. 

You freeze and start frantically looking around.  Forty-five seconds left...

You still try to decide what to take.  You know that your family has already made it out safely.  Thirty seconds...

You frantically pick things up and discard them, still looking around for something you know you would miss.  Fifteen seconds...
 

So what do you take?  In 60 seconds what are the things you will grab, that are most precious to you?

I know for me it would be my Grandmother's old jewelery, and if it was within reach, my camera.  Those things hold the most value in my life.  I will never be able to replace my Grandmother's jewelery.  She's dead, gone on to Heaven. I can remember her wearing some of the pieces that I have.  My camera holds my memories.  I know that they will forever be in my heart and mind and that a camera can be replaced, but I show my emotions through my camera.  What makes me happy and sad, the things I love the most in the world- all of those things I portray through my pictures. 

I don't have much of value, and almost everything I own is replaceable.  But those sixty seconds can tell a lot about a person.  Some of you would go for your technology, others for family heirlooms, and others still will forgo the quest to save anything and just run.  But it is in that sixty seconds that you learn the most about a person. 

So what would you take?

I found out today that one of my great-aunts died. Her funeral is in two days, but because it is so far away, I won't be able to make it. But this event has made me think about memories and how fleeting (or long) my life will be.

I look back at my aunt's life and I remember fun visits and learning.  I started to think; when I die, what will I be leaving behind?

Will I leave behind questions about who I truly was?  Will people know that I love my God with all of my heart?  Will they have good memories of me or bad ones?

If I had only a week left to live, what would I do with it? (I know, one of the most cliche questions to ask, right?)
               I would live my life for that last week hopefully as I had lived the weeks and days before it.  If I am not living my life. But no one knows how they would spend that time unless it actually happens to them.

For now, my thoughts and prayers are going out to my family who is mourning the loss of a wife, sister, aunt, and friend

what one disney scene can show

This will be a super short one today...

Many of us know Beauty and the Beast as a Disney Princess movie- loved by children (and some adults) everywhere.

There is a moment in this movie that shows me how much God loves us.  Cogsworth asked Beast how he could let Belle go.  Beast's response was was that he had to let her go because he loved her.

God did this for us.  He gave us free will and choice because He loved us. He let us choose whether or not to be with Him.  And if we leave, He patiently waits for our return.

Get swept away, just be able to find your way back

I don't know about you, but I'm one of those people that gets swept away in something.  When I'm reading a  good book or watching a movie, the story sweeps me into it's world.  For a few hours, I get to be part of a world completely new and exciting. Take the movie Brave for example (yes, I am using a princess movie as an example).   The story is about a young princess who is constantly at odds with her mother.  All the girl wants is to be heard and have her opinion matter, but pride stands in the way for both mother and daughter so she asks for a spell to change her fate.  The story is so well done that for a few hours I laughed until I cried and lived in a story not so much unlike my own (as far as being at odds with my mother).  

I got so swept up in the story that I left the theater drained.  For me, it happens all the time. I read a good book and the story line takes me into that world. I laugh and cry with the characters, and at the end of the book, if it is a good one, I am left wanting more.  It was the same with this movie.

Then today, I went to church and it was a sad moment for me.  One of my dear friends is leaving this week.  She graduated and is moving on to bigger and better things, becoming a world traveler and continuing her education while doing it.  Today was her last day attending church with me, and next week, another dear friend is leaving to go back home.   While I know that our paths will cross again someday (hopefully sooner rather than later), goodbyes are always difficult.

While I am learning that draining myself is okay, I am also learning to allow myself to fill back up- with the Holy Spirit, love, and friendship.  Being around my friends is one of the best ways for me to wind down from a crazy weekend, and today I got to do just that.  I got to meet some new people and catch up with others.  And at the very end of the day, it was just three of us, hanging out at the park around the corner, talking and playing- not caring who saw us or what they thought of us.

Things like that, after all of the noise and bustle has disappeared, are the best things in life.  Just getting to hang out with those who know you better than most and playing like the children that some of us never got to be is a fantastic way to let out stress and say goodbye.

And I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Step up to the plate

As I step up to the plate to bat, there are already two outs. I know that I do not want to be that third out so the first pitch that comes to me (no pressure at all, right?), I swing my bat at it.  

The ball flies just far enough for me to make it to first base.  

The next person steps up to the bat, gets three strikes, and the inning ends.

Two games ago I was standing in the outfield and had this thought that while in this particular sport we get three strikes before we are out, and three outs before we switch positions on the field with the other team, I am thankful we get many more chances in life. 

Our friends give us second chances (and sometimes third and fourth chances too), our parents are supposed to love us unconditionally no matter how many times we strike out, and God gives us infinitely more chances than anyone else to turn to Him.

Could you imagine if He did not?  If God's love and our eternity depended on the number of strikes we've made in life?  Get three and you're out...that would be terrible!  No one would make it to eternity, which is why we need Jesus.

I have also learned a lot while playing this game.  I've learned what true sportsmanship looks like, how to slow my competitive spirit down, and what teamwork truly is.  

When I was younger, I used to hate to wait around for my teammates to get a ball and instead I would go for it.  I would also get angry when we lost.  I always felt like I had to be the best because my parents were there watching and I didn't want to let them down and show them that I was a failure. That happened with any sport I played, and if they weren't there, I wanted to win so I could go home and tell them that I had done well.  

But I realized that the only person I should be living my life for is God, and He doesn't care if I win or lose a game, just that I stepped up to the plate and tried my best- and that I used the outcome for His Glory.  So the next time you find that you are being competitive or are looking for accolades, don't look to the people around you, look to your Father, the one who breathed you into existence and knew you before you were conceived.  Because nothing here on earth will matter or mean anything when it comes time to stand before God, unless it was done to further the Kingdom of God.

My friends are...

I was looking through my old journals and blog posts today and I saw where I used to be.  


And I look at where I am now. An aspiring police officer wanting to use my ministry concentration to do amazing things within this lifetime.  


I look at the people that used to know me and I realized that today they only see the old me, the girl who was insecure and afraid to saw what I needed or wanted to say.  I used to let them walk all over me and control my life; dictating what I did day-to-day. I was a girl with a faith that was shaky at best who wanted to help people even though I didn't know how to help myself.


So I went to counselling and changed my major, and in doing so, I learned quite a bit about myself.  I have discovered that I do love doing things for people, if I say I will do something for you, please know that I mean it.  I learned to notice when something is my fault and when someone is trying to place blame on me. I learned who was going to be there for me- for real, and who will only be there when they want something out of me. And most importantly, I learned who my God is and who I am in his sight.


In the past three years I have made some amazing friends.  They were there for the transformation and they are willing to see who I am now, not who I was and encourage me throughout that transformation.  They know what I am passionate about, what I can't stand and I know that if I don't want someone in my wedding party, they will do damage control if the person throws a hissy fit (Inside joke, but I could see it happening).  


When I can't speak, these friends are my words. They can look at my face and see what I am thinking or feeling. And I don't always have to speak around them because they know that sometimes I just want to be quiet without being asked what's wrong.  They understand my text messages and don't look for hidden meanings behind my words, because there are none.  


So to these friends, and I think they know who they are, I want to say thank you.  For being willing to call me one my mistakes but love me anyway.  Thanks for being there when I just need a person around, even if I don't want to talk, and for the inside jokes and awkward moments. And thank you for the constant hugs, there is nothing like a hug from your best friends.  


And to my other readers, I pray that you find friends as sweet and as crazy as mine are. Who after only a year, know you better than someone who has known you your whole life.


I just want to end with this quote, which I think is appropriate for the amount of love that friendships bring:


"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart, and can sing it back to you when you have forgotten the words." -Unknown

Prayer request

Today is my 21st birthday. And it has been spectacular- full of friends new and old. But it has been a bittersweet day too. You see my mom called me today. And the man that is very dear to my heart is in the hospital. And not just in the hospital, he's in the ICU. So today I've been trying to find this balance of happy that it's our birthday and sadness because this man is so very sick. So tonight, all I ask is for prayers for this man. That's it...nothing else. Just simply prayers for healing and peace.