what long drives do to me

Now that I drive back and forth where I am to Horseheads a lot more than I did, I have come to love the trip.

I used to see that drive as a scary one. Not sure how the weekend would turn out, who would start yelling first, or how quickly I could leave without seeming rude to my family.  The whole trip there my heart would sink with each mile, as I left my new home for an old one.

Now, I look forward to the trip.  Ever since the events of the week before my senior year happened, my mom and I have been closer than ever before (we actually get along!) and I love going back for visits.  But here's where I struggle.  I went from a tiny town where more kids get in to trouble because the town holds nothing for them, to this city where I have finally found who I am, and I never run out of things to do (the opportunities for ministry are endless too).  And as of right now, I have to leave this place when I graduate to move back to hhds.  I'm excited because getting to my sister's college will be a lot easier from hhds, I'll be closer to my family which means we can continue working on our relationship, and Nick will be there.  On the other hand, I dread going back to the town where I had so many struggles growing up, where there are less opportunities, where it is a struggle to find something to do.

I feel like I could be leaving something unfinished by moving back.  I don't know what that is yet, but I know that there is still something I have to accomplish here (other than my degree). There will be no more impromptu dinners or movie nights with friends, no more bashes in the city.  I now know how my sister felt when she had to move away from the place she called home and I have more time to prepare than she did.  I feel like I've outgrown Horseheads, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, it's just weird knowing I will be there for the next few years, starting over knowing I'll be leaving again soon.

I just ended this drive back from hhds, and these thoughts are still swirling in my head.  The thing that keeps popping back up in my head though is this verse from the Bible:

"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.  Is not life more important that food, and the body more important than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them.  Are you not much more valuable then they?  Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?"           -Matthew 6:25-27

It's a good reminder than no matter how worried or stressed out I get about my future and where I will end up and why, that my Father loves me and still has plans for me that will be carried out.