Family

I am having an issue.  And I know that in writing this I will be making a lot of my family angry but I need to say it and if it results in them not speaking to me either, then I apologize for saying what someone needs to say.

My family is acting like a bunch of 2 year olds.  I have aunts and uncles fighting...SIBLINGS aren't speaking to each other, nieces and nephews getting jealous and angry at their aunts and uncles. 

THIS IS RIDICULOUS!  Why are we doing this?  Why can't we all see that it is hurting everyone?!  I may only be 19 years old, but if I can see this, why can't they?  

We weren't put here on earth to hate each other.  My family members have people looking up to them and yet they still do this.  They are arguing and not speaking to each other and they are passing this along to children, grandchildren, nieces and nephews.  Since when was this okay?  I understand that families fight but normally, they make up, not drag it on and on.   And I'm not taking sides with anyone I just can't talk to anyone about it in my family.  I don't know whole stories but from what I have seen, it's not worth fighting over for this long.

1 Timothy 3:4-5 says "4- He must manage his own family well and see that his children obey him with proper respect.  5-(If anyone does not know how to manage his own family, how can he take care of God's church?)..."

and 1 Timothy 5:8 says "If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for his immediate family, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

I won't go into what my thoughts on these passages are or how they relate to what I am writing about because I think it's pretty obvious what I think.  What's not obvious is why we all do this.  And I know it's not just my family that does this, but it's where I have seen it the most recently.  And for those of you who may read this, please, I beg of you, don't do this to your families.  Don't let them remain broken.  It hurts everyone, especially those people who want to see their family members at weddings, graduations, reunions, and random parties- and not just some of them- all of them.

This is a challenge to each generation.  Don't follow in the footsteps of the previous generations.  Show love and not hate.

Looking Ahead

I just got done reading the book Rooms by James L. Rubart and this book taught me a few lessons (even if it's not a true story).  In many ways this book reminds me of The Shack but The Shack focuses mainly on forgiveness and the image of God.

In this book a very successful young man owns his own software company.  He gets a letter from his Great-Uncle saying that he left him a house in an area that this young man has tried to forget about. Well the thing about this house that this young man eventually figures out is that the rooms in this house change.  Every time there is a new lesson to be learned, there is a new room that pops up somewhere in the house.  One of these rooms is completely black and there is a voice in it.  The voice tells the young man that it is himself, the other side of the brain.  So the young man trusts it.  In the end, this voice ended up being a demon trying to confuse and lead this man down the wrong path.  

This made me wonder...what voices are we listening to?  Are we listening to voices that come from God or Satan? That one voice that you instantly trust, who is it?  Are you listening to it based on the Bible and it's teachings or are you just believing and trusting of it?  


A professor of mine once told me to question everything.  Don't just take what you hear and believe it- question it and make your own decision about whatever it is.  

A new school year

Since my last post, many new things have happened and I have learned  more about myself that I could imagine.  I have learned how fragile relationships are for starters.  When I started this summer off, I never expected to be where I am now.  I never would have thought that I would be dating or that I would lose one of my greatest and dearest friends in some capacity.  


My summer has been filled with work, many happy moments, and a few sad ones thrown in there too.  But isn't that how life works?  Always throwing a curve-ball or forcing you to drop on that roller coaster ride...causing your heart to feel like it's about to explode out of your body.  My first experience with that was with a family member that I hold very close in my heart.  The second was with my oldest friends.  But I have learned something from all of this.  You have to take those curve-balls and scary moments and just deal with them.  You can't listen to what other people say, you have to make your own decisions about your life and the people in it.  That's been the hardest thing for me...making my own decisions.  Will I date? Will I go back to school?  What am I going to do when the worst happens? Will I be strong enough for it all when it all seems to come crashing down upon me?  But I started thinking...why do I have to rely solely on myself?  Why haven't I been looking for the people God has put in my life?  Why have I not been leaning on the One who saved my life?  Here's the answer.  


I have been too caught up in the world around me and what others think, that I haven't had time to listen to the people that God has placed in my life.  


It became so easy and commonplace for me to ignore Him and do what I want to do and I wasn't being held responsible for my actions.  When i was being held responsible, I would push away and grow angry and not listen to the people I respect the most.  the hardest part was living with my family over the summer.  After a school year of holding myself responsible, I started to despise the rules I had to go back home to.  I didn't want a curfew because I didn't think it was fair (and I broke it many times hanging out with friends), I would leave as soon as mom or dad were supposed to be home because I didn't want to hear their lectures, etc.  I pushed away my family even farther than I thought I ever would or thought possible.  I broke personal boundaries that I had set for myself and I regret some of it more than anyone will ever know.  But I came out of this summer closer with Natalie who I miss so much and closer with God.  My lessons have been learned (even if I did it the hard way :p ) 


I'm very excited about this school year.  I have good classes with good teachers who love what they do :)