I don't think I've had so much fun at school as I did today. If you were to look at my Facebook page, you would see a bunch of crazy girls out in the snow just messing around and having fun. We climbed mountains of snow and ice and trees and took lots of pictures that are such a hoot!
Also, I went out today and got to help people brush off their cars and we helped one girl get her car unstuck. It was a blast and we loved it. I think I can safely say that we have more than a foot of snow :) At least I got some good exercise in today!
Tomorrow I am going to Whitesboro to take place in their 30 Hour Famine. I did this last year and had a blast. My only reservation is that I'll only know one person there- Melissa, who knows everybody else. and I am SUCH an awkward wall flower. But it'll be for a good cause so it's allll good :) AND I'm bringing games :) I really can't wait. As long as this headach goes away...
Well, we're watching Simon Birch now so I can't concentrate on what I'm writing...and I keep forgetting what I'm writing :p
Friday, February 26, 2010
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Back to school again
So, I don't think that there was ever a more excited girl to get back to school. I had TONS of fun over break w/my friends at home (and roommy), but I was definitely ready to come back.
I'd already exhausted everything I could do in my town...sledding, playing pool in my basement with Carissa, going to the movies w/Kristin and then having her over for dinner, shopping, and church. In HHDS, there's not much else to do!
So today when I walked in, I got a big hug from Rosanna. We got all my stuff in (and I still need to unpack) and I gave Lauren her woodburned cutting board/decoration thing. And my parents left. I've gotten to hear everybody's stories of their breaks, but the best part of the night was talking to Sarah Keys. Sarah is basically the most fun person to talk to...especially when she just starts spouting random things off. She listens to opinions and if you believe in something, she sticks to it. I love that about her. She doesn't take bull.
The worst part about coming back however is the unpacking. I pack, unpack, pack and unpack all in the space of one vacation. And that is a few times too many! So now, I'm off to my room to finish unpacking (hopefully without waking up my roommate) and get into bed to start a new week of school. Here we gooooo!!!!!!
I'd already exhausted everything I could do in my town...sledding, playing pool in my basement with Carissa, going to the movies w/Kristin and then having her over for dinner, shopping, and church. In HHDS, there's not much else to do!
So today when I walked in, I got a big hug from Rosanna. We got all my stuff in (and I still need to unpack) and I gave Lauren her woodburned cutting board/decoration thing. And my parents left. I've gotten to hear everybody's stories of their breaks, but the best part of the night was talking to Sarah Keys. Sarah is basically the most fun person to talk to...especially when she just starts spouting random things off. She listens to opinions and if you believe in something, she sticks to it. I love that about her. She doesn't take bull.
The worst part about coming back however is the unpacking. I pack, unpack, pack and unpack all in the space of one vacation. And that is a few times too many! So now, I'm off to my room to finish unpacking (hopefully without waking up my roommate) and get into bed to start a new week of school. Here we gooooo!!!!!!
Friday, February 19, 2010
A very sobering entry...
My very dear friend Carissa came over today and we started talking about how she and a few seniors at HHS were trying to plan the Baccalaureate service. The only thing is, because a few churches are helping, the school won't even listen to the students who are trying to plan this. However, during these planning sessions, they were looking for people to give their testimonies. They wanted two girls and two boys (to make it even). After some careful thought, they decided that Carissa and Kalissa, two well-known girls would give theirs. Then they started thinking about boys who could give their testimonies. They still haven't found anybody. This is a sobering thought...that they have to search this hard to find even one Christian other than the few people who are KNOWN for their faith. Are we really doing so poorly about getting the word out or are we shoving our faith in other people's faces to the point that they don't want to have anything to do with God? And where do we draw that line between telling and pushing?
Last year, I was one of four people to give my testimony at this service. It is a scary thought to know that what you say into the camera a few weeks or months before the service, will be seen by a large amount of people. It doesn't even seem real until you actually see your face up on the big screen, surrounded by people you've gone to school with for 13 years of your life. Especially when your testimony is not known to the majority of people. For me, the scariest thing was for everybody to find out how I became a Christian and the road that led me there. Especially with my mom, who doesn't share my faith, sitting somewhere out there in the audience. Alot came out that night about me. I've been to the point of almost rock bottom (I'll explain the almost part later on). I thought that ending my life would make everything better...for me, for my family, even for my friends.
The song Hold On by Good Charlotte holds alot of memories for me. It is a song about suicide and the effects that it has on everybody. The lyrics talk about the hopelessness that you feel and how you feel like you're the only one and there's no way out. My favorite parts say "...But we all bleed the same way that you do...and we all have the same things to go through...Hold on if you feel like letting go...hold on it gets better than you know...don't stop looking, you're one step closer...don't stop searching, it's not over...Hold on..."
My life, after I gave it over to God, became impacted by suicide in a few cases. My friend Kim's brother killed himself and my other friend's boyfriend was one of the people who volunteered to clean up the mess. Many of my friends at school were impacted by his death...a few of them I went to youth group with. A boy in Elmira committed suicide and it impacted a few more of my friends. A boy I used to play soccer with killed himself in his basement and his mom found him after she came home from work. For me to think that it was almost my family to find me in that situation and what it would do to all of my friends, almost physically hurt me.
Now, to get back to an earlier comment for a moment...When I said that I've been to the point of ALMOST hitting rock bottom, I don't truly believe that God lets anyone hit rock bottom. It's like a line graph. It has it's points of ups and downs, but it's like God puts a cushion between your lowest point and absolute rock bottom (zero).
So what lessons have I learned in all of this and my past 18 years of life? I've learned that no matter what happens to you, God will pick up the pieces. I've also learned that God uses people that you would never expect to save your life. He may use one, He may use many- but you can be sure that He uses them. Sometimes you have to reach out and help others...but your reaching out could save a life. I've learned my limitations and that I need to just reach out and cling to God and follow Him. And I've learned that just because a person smiles, they might still be upset about something and they are just really good about hiding it.
I want to share one more thing before I head off to bed and that is my life-verse. I was reading the Psalms for my nightly devotionals this past summer and I came across this verse. It's Psalm 3:3 and it says "But You, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head high. I've embraced this verse and I hold it very close to my heart because it is a CONSTANT reminder that no matter what I am going through, God is always with me, acting as my shield and lifting my head high.
Last year, I was one of four people to give my testimony at this service. It is a scary thought to know that what you say into the camera a few weeks or months before the service, will be seen by a large amount of people. It doesn't even seem real until you actually see your face up on the big screen, surrounded by people you've gone to school with for 13 years of your life. Especially when your testimony is not known to the majority of people. For me, the scariest thing was for everybody to find out how I became a Christian and the road that led me there. Especially with my mom, who doesn't share my faith, sitting somewhere out there in the audience. Alot came out that night about me. I've been to the point of almost rock bottom (I'll explain the almost part later on). I thought that ending my life would make everything better...for me, for my family, even for my friends.
The song Hold On by Good Charlotte holds alot of memories for me. It is a song about suicide and the effects that it has on everybody. The lyrics talk about the hopelessness that you feel and how you feel like you're the only one and there's no way out. My favorite parts say "...But we all bleed the same way that you do...and we all have the same things to go through...Hold on if you feel like letting go...hold on it gets better than you know...don't stop looking, you're one step closer...don't stop searching, it's not over...Hold on..."
My life, after I gave it over to God, became impacted by suicide in a few cases. My friend Kim's brother killed himself and my other friend's boyfriend was one of the people who volunteered to clean up the mess. Many of my friends at school were impacted by his death...a few of them I went to youth group with. A boy in Elmira committed suicide and it impacted a few more of my friends. A boy I used to play soccer with killed himself in his basement and his mom found him after she came home from work. For me to think that it was almost my family to find me in that situation and what it would do to all of my friends, almost physically hurt me.
Now, to get back to an earlier comment for a moment...When I said that I've been to the point of ALMOST hitting rock bottom, I don't truly believe that God lets anyone hit rock bottom. It's like a line graph. It has it's points of ups and downs, but it's like God puts a cushion between your lowest point and absolute rock bottom (zero).
So what lessons have I learned in all of this and my past 18 years of life? I've learned that no matter what happens to you, God will pick up the pieces. I've also learned that God uses people that you would never expect to save your life. He may use one, He may use many- but you can be sure that He uses them. Sometimes you have to reach out and help others...but your reaching out could save a life. I've learned my limitations and that I need to just reach out and cling to God and follow Him. And I've learned that just because a person smiles, they might still be upset about something and they are just really good about hiding it.
I want to share one more thing before I head off to bed and that is my life-verse. I was reading the Psalms for my nightly devotionals this past summer and I came across this verse. It's Psalm 3:3 and it says "But You, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the One who lifts my head high. I've embraced this verse and I hold it very close to my heart because it is a CONSTANT reminder that no matter what I am going through, God is always with me, acting as my shield and lifting my head high.
Monday, February 15, 2010
The Day after Valentine's
Yesterday I woke up and wanted to hate Valentine's Day and all that it stood for. Until I sat up on the couch and realized that Valentine's Day wasn't about who was dating whom...it's about who you spend it with...
I got to wake up and be surrounded by my family. Breakfast was already made (French Toast) and although everybody but Mary Cate and I had eaten, everybody was still in the kitchen. I sat down to find my name written on a lacy doily and a cup full of chocolate, socks, a lint roller (yay!) and a card. It was a great way to start the morning.
From there, it only got better. I went to church and listened to a sermon on marriage. And while I don't believe that I will get married anytime soon, I listened to it and retained quite a bit of information that I will be taking with me throughout my life.
After church, there was a group of people who were renewing their wedding vows. People who've been married from 71 days to 65 years were there renewing their love for one another. And I was privilaged enough to witness it (and be photographer).
After church I went home and we had a HUGE lunch of ribs, rice, and beans. It was very delicious =D and it made for good leftovers too! Mary Cate and I just kind of hung around the house and took naps until 5:00 when we picked up one of my best friends- Carissa Miller. The three of us went to Chili's for dinner and our waitress was my friend Becky and Ryan C. was one of our hosts =D It made for good conversation. And again, I was surrounded by people who I loved.
So even though I may not have had a boyfriend, I still had the privilege to be surrounded by love.
I got to wake up and be surrounded by my family. Breakfast was already made (French Toast) and although everybody but Mary Cate and I had eaten, everybody was still in the kitchen. I sat down to find my name written on a lacy doily and a cup full of chocolate, socks, a lint roller (yay!) and a card. It was a great way to start the morning.
From there, it only got better. I went to church and listened to a sermon on marriage. And while I don't believe that I will get married anytime soon, I listened to it and retained quite a bit of information that I will be taking with me throughout my life.
After church, there was a group of people who were renewing their wedding vows. People who've been married from 71 days to 65 years were there renewing their love for one another. And I was privilaged enough to witness it (and be photographer).
After church I went home and we had a HUGE lunch of ribs, rice, and beans. It was very delicious =D and it made for good leftovers too! Mary Cate and I just kind of hung around the house and took naps until 5:00 when we picked up one of my best friends- Carissa Miller. The three of us went to Chili's for dinner and our waitress was my friend Becky and Ryan C. was one of our hosts =D It made for good conversation. And again, I was surrounded by people who I loved.
So even though I may not have had a boyfriend, I still had the privilege to be surrounded by love.
Friday, February 12, 2010
2/12/10
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with teh truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Isn't this awesome?? That love is all of these things! It loves unconditionally and will always protect you. You can always have hope in it and delight in it's truths.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with teh truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Isn't this awesome?? That love is all of these things! It loves unconditionally and will always protect you. You can always have hope in it and delight in it's truths.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
2/11/10 ...Part II
So I thought in the spirit of Valentine's Day coming up on Sunday, I would write each day until then something about Love and it's different meanings. Tonight there are a few things on my mind.
The first is the 4 types of love
Eros, Phileo, Agape, and Storge
Eros is admiration
Phileo is parental love
Storge is the friendship love
&
Agape is the love that cannot be broken. It's the "till death do us part" love.
When I think about these loves, I think about the type of love that we all have in our everyday lives.
Storge is the biggest and most well-used kind of love. We love our friends and in most cases, our families.
Eros is the love that we all feel when we first start a relationship with someone. It is blind to the bad which can be both good and bad.
Phileo is the type of love that I have always wanted to know what was like. To be loved by a parent and know that you are loved...unconditionally.
I feel lucky enough to have experienced Agape love already in my 18 years of life. No, this love hasn't come for a human being. I've experienced it through my relationship with God. You see, 'till death do us part' applies not only to earthly marriages, but to our "marriage" to God. It's so nice to know that I can wake up in the morning and no matter what I do, He still loves me unconditionally.
The first is the 4 types of love
Eros, Phileo, Agape, and Storge
Eros is admiration
Phileo is parental love
Storge is the friendship love
&
Agape is the love that cannot be broken. It's the "till death do us part" love.
When I think about these loves, I think about the type of love that we all have in our everyday lives.
Storge is the biggest and most well-used kind of love. We love our friends and in most cases, our families.
Eros is the love that we all feel when we first start a relationship with someone. It is blind to the bad which can be both good and bad.
Phileo is the type of love that I have always wanted to know what was like. To be loved by a parent and know that you are loved...unconditionally.
I feel lucky enough to have experienced Agape love already in my 18 years of life. No, this love hasn't come for a human being. I've experienced it through my relationship with God. You see, 'till death do us part' applies not only to earthly marriages, but to our "marriage" to God. It's so nice to know that I can wake up in the morning and no matter what I do, He still loves me unconditionally.
2/11/10
In exactly 24 hours, I'll be waiting for my mom to come pick up my roommate and I for February Break. I really have mixed feelings about going home. On one hand, I'll be getting to see alot of my friends and having a blast but on the other hand, I'll be at home with my mother who really just doesn't understand.
So today I was talking to my friend and she told me that her school totally ruined reading the Bible for her. She feels like when she reads it, there's going to be another "test" and so she can't dive into the Bible the same way that she did. When she told me this, my heart was instantly saddened. It makes me sad to think that a school can ruin Bible reading for their students. Isn't the purpose of a Bible class to learn more about the Bible and to make you excited to read it?! Just a thought but still. I think it's unfair to the students.
Well, that's all for now. I don't really have much more to write. Until next time...
So today I was talking to my friend and she told me that her school totally ruined reading the Bible for her. She feels like when she reads it, there's going to be another "test" and so she can't dive into the Bible the same way that she did. When she told me this, my heart was instantly saddened. It makes me sad to think that a school can ruin Bible reading for their students. Isn't the purpose of a Bible class to learn more about the Bible and to make you excited to read it?! Just a thought but still. I think it's unfair to the students.
Well, that's all for now. I don't really have much more to write. Until next time...
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
2/10/10
I'm sorry that it's been so long since I've posted anything. Toby mentioned something about it a while ago and I forgot about it until tonight. So here goes...it will probably be a mess of my thoughts so it won't make much sense from one thing to another.
Good news! I am getting baptized on May 16th!! I am so excited that I finally have the chance to take this next step in my faith.
I have learned something in the process of picking this date: Family is the people that you surround yourself with. They'll laugh with you, cry with you, and always be there. They stand behind you 100% - no questions asked. They won't yell at you for what you believe or judge you. I've learned something else too. The people that you grew up believing that they loved you, well, they're going to dissapoint you and hurt you in the worst ways possible. It's then that you realize that you never mattered to them in the way that you are supposed to matter to someone.
In the past 3 years, I've had to look at the people around me and wonder if they love me unconditionally or if they just want something from me. The hardest thing in the world for me was to let go of all of my old friends and make new ones. Today, I had to do that all over again. And I found out that people are not who they always seem. Some are genuine, some just want you for what you can offer, some just don't care, and some pretend to care but don't.
I've also discovered that I am very posessive of my things. I don't like it when people leave their stuff on mine, or touch my stuff, or use my stuff. But I am also the kind of person that won't say if something is bothering me. I hold it in until I am simmering and then I explode. I know this is not healthy but I also know that I am working on it...I just hate confrontation.
I hold it all in and let it build
until I'm breaking into
a million pieces.
Unable to pick up those pieces,
I turn to You, the One who can save me
who can put me back into one whole.
Take these pieces of mine,
take them and make them something new.
New and beautiful, more like You everyday.
I'll never be perfect, but I can rest
in the knowledge of Your love and peace.
It's You that saves.
You that takes the old, broken, and ugly and makes it
new, beautiful, and You smooth out the rough edges.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.
Good news! I am getting baptized on May 16th!! I am so excited that I finally have the chance to take this next step in my faith.
I have learned something in the process of picking this date: Family is the people that you surround yourself with. They'll laugh with you, cry with you, and always be there. They stand behind you 100% - no questions asked. They won't yell at you for what you believe or judge you. I've learned something else too. The people that you grew up believing that they loved you, well, they're going to dissapoint you and hurt you in the worst ways possible. It's then that you realize that you never mattered to them in the way that you are supposed to matter to someone.
In the past 3 years, I've had to look at the people around me and wonder if they love me unconditionally or if they just want something from me. The hardest thing in the world for me was to let go of all of my old friends and make new ones. Today, I had to do that all over again. And I found out that people are not who they always seem. Some are genuine, some just want you for what you can offer, some just don't care, and some pretend to care but don't.
I've also discovered that I am very posessive of my things. I don't like it when people leave their stuff on mine, or touch my stuff, or use my stuff. But I am also the kind of person that won't say if something is bothering me. I hold it in until I am simmering and then I explode. I know this is not healthy but I also know that I am working on it...I just hate confrontation.
I hold it all in and let it build
until I'm breaking into
a million pieces.
Unable to pick up those pieces,
I turn to You, the One who can save me
who can put me back into one whole.
Take these pieces of mine,
take them and make them something new.
New and beautiful, more like You everyday.
I'll never be perfect, but I can rest
in the knowledge of Your love and peace.
It's You that saves.
You that takes the old, broken, and ugly and makes it
new, beautiful, and You smooth out the rough edges.
Thank You, Thank You, Thank You.
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