An experience and a sentence I will never forget

Yesterday was the social work program's yearly trip to the Salvation Army.  During this week, there are no social work classes (something I will miss now that I'm out of the program) and everyone signs up for a different day to go to the Salvation Army and help set people up for Christmas Assistance.  

And every year, I learn something new or something someone says sticks with me.

This year, it was when someone I was interviewing me was telling me about her family.  After calculating incomes all day and seeing all the negative numbers that people have at the end of each month, my heart breaks.  It's so sobering to see how many people live with negative incomes and live day to day, hoping that they will have enough food to feed their families for that day.  

But in the midst of all of these sad stories, I had this one person in particular that said something to me.  They were telling me about their three children.  All of these children went on to colleges like UofR, RIT, and Brockport.  And these children became engineers, nurses, and followed other fantastic careers.  And this person looked at me and said "You see, being poor doesn't have to hold you back.  If you fight hard enough, you can succeed in anything."  

And all I could think about was wow. What a bunch of college kids who pay $35,000 a year to go to school, can learn from a field trip.  We talked about the poor in Cru last week and someone said "the poor touch our lives more than we can touch theirs." And how true that statement is!  

We are so lucky.  We can afford colleges that most can't, we have cars and money to buy food.  

But how often do we stop and think about those that don't?

I know that I can take for granted how much I have.  And how lucky I am.  I have parents that still get my car fixed for me and pay my insurance, an Aunt and Uncle who let me stay with them rent-free when I didn't have anywhere else to go.  I have a little sister that I can afford to take out and spend time with.  And I have jobs with great bosses.  And it still took me twenty and a half years to realize how lucky I am that I don't have to worry about where my next meal is going to come from or how I will get to work. 

So I pray that no matter what your situation is, that you realize how lucky you are that you have everything that you do.  Whether it's parents that love you so much you feel like you're being smothered, or whether it's a job or food.  You are so incredibly blessed. And I hope you can see that and remember those that have almost nothing.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving

This post is different than my usual posts. I am feeling the spirit of Thanksgiving (even if it is still a week away).

  You see, last night, I called my dad to ask him a question, and as soon as he answered the phone ( I was glad it was him), I burst into tears.  To have a friendly voice the day after an awful conversation with my mother, my computer breaking, and everything I have on top of school and my three jobs, was too much.  So the poor guy, who probably can't remember the last time I cried, got to hear it. 

But he was so gracious about it.  He told me that it was okay that my computer didn't work anymore, that he set up a car appointment to get my car fixed next week when I go to visit them, when I didn't think I could handle what life has been throwing me, he was there with encouraging words, and he is the man who always has a silly "joke" to tell me (definitely where I get it). 

In the past, he was always the "fun parent" because as long as we didn't get into trouble, we could do almost anything we wanted to do. 

Now, he is the man that I turn to when my friends/boyfriend are busy with schoolwork or life and don't have time to talk.  When my mom doesn't speak to me for months at a time, he is the one who will pick up the phone and talk. 

And I am so thankful that God gave me a dad who, despite our past, will always be there for me. 

Fog

I have felt for the last week and a half or so as if I was walking around in a fog.  Constantly dizzy, never seeing clarity. And I was getting frustrated with everything.  I couldn't sit through my classes or drive one speed on the road.  


Last night I was driving home from a very confusing small group.  It  seemed like no question was getting answered and it made the fog in my head worse. And to top it off, I felt like I was being pushed into something that I had no idea about.  (which is where I need to learn to be more assertive I guess).  


So my fog continued. And then, I had the worst drive back.  It was so foggy on the way from Brockport to Churchville that I could barely see 10 feet in front of me at times.  And being that there are always deer running across the road, it made me very nervous.  So I'm driving along and all of a sudden, I hit this area where all of the house/porch lights on the street seemed to be catching the fog in a strange way. It made it look like there were car lights headed straight for me. So I got really freaked out. And started to cry...driving down the road...with fog that I couldn't see through.  


And then it hit me.  


Whether physical or mental, fog is dangerous.  You can't see clearly, respond rationally, and it can take away your trust that God will protect you from danger.  It can slip in anywhere that there is a crack in your armor and distract you long enough for the enemy to feed you lies.  And the worst part?  That it sticks and lingers.


Just a thought.

A catch-up on life

As many of you know (if you know me), I changed my major recently. I am no longer a social work student and I am now a Cross-Disciplinary student. My major now consists of a minor and two study/focus areas. Because I have the most credits in social work, that is my official minor. My other focuses are criminal justice and ministry.  


And I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life.


Up until a month ago, I knew exactly where my life was headed and how I was going to get there. And I think that God likes to change things up a little so we have to rely on Him in even greater measures.  And boy, am I still learning.  


Don't get me wrong, the domestic violence field is still very much implanted in my heart, but not in the same way.  I have been seriously considering being a police officer. And after many people who haven't known this telling me that I should be a cop and that they think I would be good at it, I took to praying about it and seeking God's will through that.  


So in comes the ministry part.  


Not only do I want to apply to the academy, but I also want to be able to minister to the community around me.  I want to start a program for children who have no place to go, no one to really take care of them...I guess you could say I want to start a community outreach. Set children up with mentors, give them a place to hang out after school, just something. 


And on top of all that... I want to try and change the system from the inside out. I am still very passionate about those affected by domestic violence.  I want to try to get laws changed that make it more than a violation.


But who knows where God will take me, except God Himself...


I'll just wait and see what He wants of me.  And I will continue to pray and seek His will. And maybe I can make a difference in someone's life.