midnight ramblings

I was reading through my old blogs and watching the changes I have experienced in the past year. And I have learned SO MUCH about the woman God wants me to be. I've learned about spiritual gifts and have started being able to see what mine are after a long time of searching. I have also been blessed enough to see a breakthrough. 

A few weeks or months ago (I don't remember when), I was at this Fearless gathering at my church and that night for the first time in years, I learned the hardest lesson I have ever had to learn- forgiveness. I had held so much bitterness and anger in that I couldn't function anymore.

So here's my Easter miracle...

I went home for Easter break with the thought that I have forgiven my parents and held no anger or bitterness toward them in any way.  And somehow, I would show that to them.  On the way home, I had a mind-blowing conversation with my dad about prophesy. And he, at his church a few weeks ago, had heard a sermon on it and he was so open to talking about it and gave me some awesome feedback and told me about the sermon and we talked about other things too but that is what sticks out most in my mind. You see, my dad and I have never been able to have a conversation like that before because I was never open to what he had to say.

I got the chance to spend some alone time with my mom. Which I was really nervous about because usually things don't go well between us- we are always disagreeing and arguing about something.  But Friday, after I got done helping her with some spring cleaning things, I took her out to dinner and then we went shopping.  Well, here's an awesome God-thing. My mom and I spent more than 5 minutes together without fighting. In fact, we spent a few hours with nothing negative said between us. We got along and were able to talk about serious things like my relationship with my boyfriend and school and NOTHING negative was said. For me, I loved seeing that after forgiving her, I have been able to come from a place of great dislike to almost love. And after the weekend I had in Horseheads, I was able to tell her that I loved her. And I wasn't just saying it because she had said it first and I felt obligated- I had said it because I meant it and could feel it.

You might be wondering why I'm telling you all of this. Well, here's why.

I was at TFH a while ago and there was a prophecy that there would be a break-through with families. And I was talking to a friend, and he told me that if I show Christ's love toward my family, maybe they would see it and want it. 

Well, I am seeing these things happen and come true! 

I came across a saying from Pastor Alex Ruffer back in Big Flats and it was this, "when you don't forgive someone, you are holding them back from any kind of relationship with God.  You are also holding yourself back from a relationship with Him."  

I have been blessed enough to see this firsthand. By forgiving my parents, I have seen such a change in them. I no longer hold them responsible for things in my past and I no longer blame them.   And by the Grace of God, and God only, have I been able to see the breakthrough and changes in my family happen. And it's not just changes in my family. Since forgiving and letting things in my life go, I have been able to get so much closer to God and I can now see the amazing things he is doing in my life! He has blessed me with Godly people that surround me everyday, and to know that He will lift my head high (Ps. 3:3) when I need it is just so amazing. There really aren't even words to describe that feeling.

If we are the body, why AREN'T our hands reaching??

Okay, so for those of you who don't know, there is a song by Casting Crowns called If We Are the Body. I'll put the lyrics here for those of you who have never heard this song before or for those who don't know it very well...

It's crowded in worship today
As she slips in trying to fade into the faces
The girl's teasing laughter is carrying farther than they know
Farther than they know

But if we are the body
Why aren't His arms reaching?
Why aren't His hands healing?
Why aren't His words teaching?
And if we are the body
Why aren't His feet going?
Why is His love not showing them there is a way?
There is a way

A traveler is far away from home
He sheds his coat and quietly sinks into the back row
The weight of their judgmental glances
Tells him that his chances are better out on the road

Jesus payed much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
And we are the body of Christ

Jesus is the way

Now, you're probably wondering why I put that song. Well, here it is...I have been talking to a lot of people about the way that Christians are treating others.  If you are a Christian, and you are reading this, I want you to think about what I am about to say very carefully.

First to the Parents: I am addressing you specifically because in the past month I have heard about this issue numerous times. If you are a parent, and your child is dating a non-Christian, how are you treating this person your child is dating?  Are you allowing your son or daughter to make their own decisions about who they love? And while I'm not saying it's a good thing they aren't dating a Christian, are you turning them away from Christianity, or are you showing them the same love that Jesus would show them?  Jesus didn't sit down with the Christians, he ate dinner with the sinners.  If we are always hanging out with other Christians, how are we going to reach out to the non-Christians?  I'll put it another way. We can't be a light amongst other lights. If we are candles, once you have a bunch of candles in one area, there is no darkness. So we should spread our light to the dark corners.  Darkness flees from the light! Believe that! So stretch out your hands and spread the light!

For the Churches/leaders of the church: I know that there are churches out there that you may not agree with.  Here's what I say to that: Instead of telling them that they aren't "true Christians" and shunning them, why don't you join them and bring light to them. Show them the way of Christ.  As my friend Rachel so eloquently put it the other night with arms flailing around "If we are the body, why aren't our hands reaching?!" We look at those people coming into church, and they may not be the best dressed and they may stick out. Does that mean we just look at them and pass them by?! NO! Get to know them. Become their friend. Maybe they'll want to come back and maybe, just maybe, God will use you to help heal their broken hearts.

For the people at Christian Colleges (even secular colleges): Instead of shunning or hating the people who don't follow Christ and make mistakes, why don't we start acting like the body of Christ and lift them up when they need help. Why are we continuing to let them walk alone in this world? Girls are getting abused, teased, and are told by society that they aren't good enough. And they walk along the path and you can see they are hurting, but you just look at them and walk by, not caring if they will be okay.



It's time to wake up. We are a generation that has the opportunity to see great things happen if we stop and let it. Don't let the world pass you by. Stretch out your hands to those who need help and use kind words to show love.

Like Children

What is it about children that we all love?  Is it their unending energy or watching their faces light up when even something small happens?  For me, it's watching their faces light up.

You might be wondering where I am about to go with this.  Well, you're about to find out.

Today I was at church and during worship, I happened to open my eyes and look down. And to my left, there was a young child dancing in the aisle. Immediately a thought popped into my head "Why aren't we all dancing in the aisle like this child?" 

Please keep in mind that I am by no means an expert on the topic, I am just a college student trying to learn and grow into something bigger than any of us can imagine.

Jesus loved the children. He even told His disciples to let the children come to Him.  Matthew 18:2-5  says this:  "Then Jesus called a little child to him, set him in the midst of them, and said, "Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever receives on little child like this in My name receives Me.""

Now, I'm not saying that you have to stay like little children all of the time. Instead, I believe that as we learn and grow in the Word and grow closer to God, we grow.  But I also believe that our initial child-like wonder shouldn't fade like we so often let it. We should still be seeing little things from God that make our faces light up- even if no one understands why. 

I know that for me, marveling at God's works like a child doesn't happen very often because I don't allow myself to think that way. At least, that's how it was until today at church. Before I saw that child dancing in the aisle, I found myself almost giddy in amazement at what God is doing and in those moments, I felt very much like a child. I didn't try to pull the logic out of what I was feeling, I just allowed myself to be filled with child-like wonder that something amazing was about to happen.

I want to challenge you. If you have time this week, go for a walk. Explore God's beauty and creation and marvel in it like a child. Allow your face to light up like a child's.