Shadows

Okay, so last night, I was at the Gungor concert at The Father's House here in Rochester.  When Gungor first came on stage, there were no lights on them.  I looked at the electric player and for a moment in time, I got really nervous.  You see, in the shadows, he looked like the shadow-man from Princess and the Frog.  So then for a few moments, I thought about shadows and what they mean.


Shadows can hold many secrets and evil things.  While not always bad, I still have a fear of them.  Because I am afraid of the dark, shadows can have many things in them from animals to evil.  So when I saw the figure of the shadow-man in my head, I instantly thought of evil.  


If you have never seen Princess and the Frog, the shadow-man is a voodoo man who basically has made a deal with the devil. And the shadows that follow him around make sure that he creates evil and they are his "friends on the other side."  


Okay, so back to my point.


Shadows can creep into anything. They can creep into lives, hearts, and even thoughts.  For example, my fear of the dark.  I don't know what is hiding in the shadows. It could be dogs coming to attack me thinking I'm an intruder or it could be something as harmless as a bunny hopping around trying to get back home.  But my mind doesn't go to the animals that are everyday household pets. No, my mind takes me to much darker and scarier things- imaginary monsters that I have created.  


Shadows can live in hearts too.  And they can grow bigger and bigger if we let them.  Shadows can be hurt caused by either ourselves or others, and if we let them fester, they will fester and grow.  That is, unless we shine light into them.  And by light, as I'm sure you have guessed by now, I mean God.  You see, God can make the shadows that have infected your life disappear with just a little light.  And maybe they won't disappear overnight, but the light will make those shadows go away as long as you cling to the Light and allow it to grow brighter and brighter.  


So maybe if the dark is your fear, allowing Light to grow and flourish is a good way of learning that the dark is not so scary after all.  Just a thought.

This summer- a new home, a new job, a new life

So I haven't blogged for a while, but I wanted to update you on what is going on in my life because I made a promise when I started this blog that I would always be honest about what's going on in my life.  This will be short because it's two in the morning and I have to get up for church.


I decided after some serious thought and prayer that I would not be going back to Horseheads this summer. So I applied to a housekeeping job on campus that was full time- all the while praying that God would show me what H wanted me to do.  And so, here I am. On campus, in a building that the fire alarm goes off all the time, with a new roommate.  And I honestly feel both lost and at home.  You see, I don't have that many friends tying me to Horseheads. My two reservations about leaving were the only two people that I keep in touch with from Horseheads (not for lack of trying to keep in touch with others) and they were my boyfriend and my little sister.  I was so torn about not being able to see these two on a consistent basis that I almost went and stayed home where I also had another job offer.  


After some serious thought and prayer and finally peace, I was able to see that Rochester (N. Chili) is my home.  I have family, pseudo-family, great friends, and an awesome church here. I feel like I can make a difference in this place and I have a faith that I know can take me anywhere that I need to be. 


But here's the thing that I have come to realize. You don't know what is going to happen next and there are hard lessons to learn when moving to a new place and being on your own.  Like where is your food going to come from when you only have $30 in your checking account until your first paycheck two weeks from when you needed food. And how will I do living on my own and being completely responsible for everything.  These are only two things that I am still learning to get through. But let me tell you something, pasta is cheap and God is good.


Now for my summer plans?  I may not know completely what I am doing yet, but I do have a trip to DC and Chicago planned for this summer along with a few visits to Clarkson and Horseheads.  From here, I will just go and do what my Father has for me.  So I will end this now by saying God Bless you and I hope that whatever your plans may be, that you glorify God with them.


-Jill

Want what you have until...

Something has been on my mind for the past week so I wanted to share it with all of you.

Maybe I'm only noticing this thing now because I had to work through it myself before I could realize it was an issue. But in noticing it, it has caused tears to flow.  You might be wondering what I am talking about. Well, here it is. 

In the past few days and weeks, I have talked with people who don't realize how good they have it.  They have any material possessions that they ask for, a car, parents who love them and would do ANYTHING for them, a college education that their parents are paying for (or helping to pay for). You name it, they probably have it.

But they don't notice.

They just want more.

I look at these people who are just so ungrateful for what they have. And they complain that their parents are overbearing because they (the parents) ask where their child is or where they are going. It brings tears to my eyes because they don't realize just how lucky they are to have parents that actually care and who will miss them.  Even those people who are helped through college by their parents. It's small trivial things we don't notice.

Here is an exception. He is actually someONE very important.  And His name is Jesus.  When it comes to our Christian faith, the ONLY thing we should want more of what we don't have is to be closer to him.  Have a hunger for Him every single second of every minute, of every hour, of every day of your life. That is the only thing that we should want that we don't have.

On a more somber note, here is an issue that is not so trivial, yet we still don't notice, or don't take the time to notice it.  Do you know how many children don't have a family or parents to call their own? No one is there to care about them. Many are abused, abandoned, homeless. And we sit in our nice houses with all of our fancy gadgets and equipment that isn't necessary for life doing NOTHING to help- complaining about the material things we don't have.

Children in Maltreatment Reports by State, 2002
(n = 318,838)

According to the US Department of Housing and Urban Development, there were 643,067 sheltered and unsheltered homeless persons nationwide on a single night in January 2009.  SO WHY ARE WE DOING NOTHING?! 

Please, can someone tell me why we're all okay with doing nothing? Why aren't we standing up for injustices?!

You can call me crazy or radical, I don't really care. At least I'm not afraid to speak what's on my mind and look for new ways to see things.  I am standing up. What are you going to do?

So here's a challenge.

My challenge for you, for all of us, is to look for something wrong. And fight for it! Don't just sit by and let people walk all over you for your convictions, don't sit there and not see past the end of your nose. Stand up. and do SOMETHING! Big things can come of seemingly nothing.